Jan had started seeing Doctor Stevens only after getting tremendous pressure
from her best friend, Donna. Jan insisted that she really didn't have a problem
that required the services of a psychiatrist, but Donna insisted that she talk
to Dr. Stevens, so she went. Jan still believed that she didn't need to go, but
had been learning so much about herself and her life that she went each week.
Besides, she really liked the Doctor, and could afford the visits, so why not. I
should pause, here to tell you a little about Jan. She is Vice President of
Sales with a medium size electronics manufacturer in the Midwest. She is
respected by everyone who deals with her as a tough but fair executive who knows
her business and manages people very effectively. Her sales force calls her "The
Iron Lady" but not in her presence. It is obvious the first time you meet her
that she is a beautiful woman who could easily have become a top paid model or
actress but in her role as a business woman, she tones the beauty down to
"attractive" by her dress, demeanor and sparing use of makeup. She wears very
conservative business suits, doesn't smoke and drinks only a little wine on
social occasions. Jan is thirty-six, but most people believe she is only in her
late twenties. Those who know her a little better are aware of the fact that she
has been divorced for about three years from a man who tried for five to deal
with her strong personality but finally admitted defeat and went to live with a
woman almost ten years his junior and seems to be ecstatically happy, now. Jan
has seen three men off and on, since her divorce but is "too busy" to think
about a long term relationship. Her only close female friend is Donna, whom she
has known since college and whom she trusts with her deepest, darkest secrets.
In fact, Donna is one of the few people in the world who know about Jan's "other
life," the one that prompted her to insist that Jan talk with Dr. Stevens. Six
months ago, Jan was on a business trip to Boston when she met a man in the hotel
bar and found her self talking with him for hours. Dan was unlike anyone she had
ever known. From the first, she was fascinated by his quiet manner and soft
speech and the contradiction represented by the "fire" she saw in his eyes. He
made no attempt to pick her up or hit on her. In fact, she was the one who kept
the conversation going and she began to realize that she would have to say
"goodnight" to this fascinating man and might never see him again. That prospect
made her sad and she resolved not to let it happen. When it was time for her to
return to her room, she initiated an exchange of phone numbers and said she
hoped they could get together on her next trip to Boston. He smiled as they
parted and kissed her very softly on the cheek (somehow, she had hoped for
more). The next trip was only two weeks later. She told herself that it was
important that she follow up with the new potential customer right away but deep
inside she knew that the Northeast Regional Sales Manager was the best in the
company and could easily handle things at this early stage of negotiations. She
had never before arranged a business trip for personal reasons and refused to
admit to herself that she was doing so now. Dan picked her up at her hotel and
they talked of nothing in particular as he drove her to a small French
restaurant. Over dinner, she found herself drifting away from the conversation
several times as she tried to gain an understanding of what she was seeing and
feeling in his eyes. Over coffee, she told him that she really didn't want the
lovely evening to end (hoping he would take the hint). He said, "We could stop
by my place for a nightcap, if you like." She had to restrain herself from
blurting out "Oh, Yes!" and said, demurely, "I think that might be very nice."
Dan looked at her for several moments, then took her hand gently into both of
his. It was like an electric shock and she only half heard him say, "But, there
is something I think you need to know..." When he knew that his words had
reached her brain, he continued, "I am a very strong willed man and I require my
lovers to place themselves completely under my control. If you don't feel
comfortable with that, perhaps it would be better if we had our nightcap at the
bar in your hotel." Jan only partly understood the meaning of his words, but she
knew, without question, that she had to be alone with him and the sooner, the
better. Her mouth was dry as she nodded slightly and replied, "I'd really prefer
your place." They talked a little as they drove to his house but Jan's mind was
filled with questions. She really didn't know Dan very well and had surprised
herself by saying she would go with him. She had a strong sense that she could
trust him and needed desperately to be in his arms and feel his body pressing
against hers. It was a fairly large, old house on a quiet residential street and
it was obviously well cared for. Even in the dark, she could see that the lawn
was well manicured and dotted with big, old oak trees. He parked the car in the
drive and came around to open her door. He took her hand lightly as they walked
up the front steps. He unlocked the door and reached in to turn on the hall
light before allowing her to enter. When they were in, he closed and relocked
the door then, escorted her to a very modern looking great room. It was clear
that someone had remodeled the old house extensively and the great room had
probably once been a living room and dining room. She turned and offered herself
for the kiss that she fully expected. He took her (so gently) into his arms and
their lips met. Almost immediately, their tongues were teasing each other and
she felt a great welling up of need and desire. Too soon, he broke the kiss and
stepped back slightly, holding her hands in his. "As I told you," he began, "I
will expect you to do exactly as I ask. If, at any time, you want to stop, you
must say 'That's enough'. When you say those words, our time together will be at
an end and I will take you back to your hotel. Do you understand?" She was
shaken by the stern tone of his voice and the seriousness of his words, but she
nodded. Jan was beginning to understand that she was to be submissive to his
wishes and she found herself both frightened and excited by the situation.
"After all," she reassured herself, "I can stop it any time I want." It never
occurred to her that she would soon lack any desire for her time with Dan to
end. "First, I want you to remove your pantyhose and panties.," he directed. She
started to protest, but he held up his hand. There was no mistaking the meaning
of his gesture and she found herself standing before him taking off her shoes,
followed by her undergarments as he had instructed. She looked around for
someplace to put the items she had just taken off but there was nothing within
reach so she just dropped them at her side. "Now, kneel down and open my
pants.," he said quietly. Her skirt was short enough that when she knelt, she
could feel the soft carpet against her knees, and she reached forward to loosen
his belt and unzip his fly. She was moving as if in a dream, now, and lowered
his pants and briefs to the floor. His semi-hard cock hung between his legs and
she was impressed with its size and shape and wanted to touch it but wasn't sure
if she was supposed to wait for instructions, so she did nothing. Dan kicked off
his shoes, pulled his socks free and pushed the pile of clothing aside with his
foot. He removed the rest of his clothes in silence as she knelt motionless
before him. When he was completely undressed, he said, "Show me how you suck
cock." The words stung her. "Why does he have to be so direct?," she wondered
and looked up into his eyes. He smiled and said, "Remember, you don't have to do
anything you don't want to do." Using both hands, she guided the head of his
penis between her lips and began to lick it with her tongue. She was so aroused
that she could feel her juices beginning to leak from her vagina and run down
the inside of her thighs. This is essentially the story she told Dr. Stevens on
her second visit. The first visit had been spent getting to know one another a
little and learning to feel comfortable in the doctor's office. The second time,
Dr. Stevens had said, almost immediately, "Tell me about why you decided to see
me." Jan really didn't know how to begin so she just started talking about how
she had met Dan and ended up becoming his "slave" and how "out of character" it
was for her to behave this way but she didn't want to stop. Dr. Stevens rested
her chin on her fingers as she listened to Jan's story and when Jan had paused,
reflecting on the scene she was describing, the doctor asked, "How did you feel
when he was in your mouth?" "I wanted to taste his sperm.," Jan blurted out,
then said, "I'm.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." The doctor leaned
forward to touch her hand and said, "Of course you should. If that's how you
felt. I need to know your feelings and I don't want you to hold back because you
think you may shock me." After a short pause, Jan went on. "It was really weird.
Dan is an O.K. looking guy but not the type I would usually be attracted to.
But, when he told me, straight out, that he wanted me to suck him, it was as
though there was nothing else in the world I wanted more than to make him come
in my mouth. It only took a few minutes before he tensed and I felt the fist
spurts hit the roof of my mouth and I had to start swallowing. He told me not to
swallow but just let it run out my mouth so I did as he said and I could feel it
running down my chin and neck. I've never really enjoyed the taste and feel of
sperm before, but I remember thinking how beautiful it was at that moment."
"When it was over, Dan told me to get down on my hands and knees and I felt him
lift my skirt all the way up and lay it on my back. I felt very strange with my
ass exposed like that but I couldn't do anything else. Besides, I felt a thrill
like I've never known before and wanted him to do whatever he wanted to me. I
think I knew he was going to use my ass, but I pretended that I didn't know what
he intended and just waited, kneeling on the floor while he went to a table and
took something out of a drawer. In one way, I dearly wanted to look to see what
he was doing, but in a more powerful way, I didn't want to know. So, I stayed
with my eyes focused on the carpet before me as he returned and started applying
some kind of lubricant between my cheeks. He came around in front of me and held
out a vibrator that was very narrow at the end, but gradually widened a little.
About half way along it's length, it became much wider and stayed that width to
its very large base. Dan said, 'This will help you become ready for me and I
think you'll find it quite interesting on its own. Have you ever had a man in
your ass?' I looked up at him and said (quite truthfully) 'No.' Then, he went
behind me and I felt the tip of the vibrator nudge against my anus. He turned it
on very low and moved it around a little before working just the end into my
opening. As he held it there, I was aware that my vagina was positively flowing
and I waited for more. He was so slow and gentle, that there was never any pain
as he moved the narrow end in and out in a kind of rhythm and pushed more and
more into me until he reached the place where it bulged out wider. Dan put his
hand on my back and said, 'This may hurt just a little, but it won't last long.'
I tensed at his words and he said, 'No. You must remain relaxed.' and he pushed
forward steadily as I felt myself stretching to accept the wider part. There was
a sharp pain as I opened farther than I would have thought possible, but it
started to disappear almost immediately as I felt the whole vibrator sliding in
to the depths of my bottom. He turned up the speed and started fucking me with
this devilish toy as I grunted and groaned and found myself pushing back to meet
each thrust." "Suddenly, he pulled it out. I gasped and I felt him place the
head of his cock against my slightly open anus. He pressed forward steadily
until his stomach was resting against my cheeks and his legs were tight against
mine. I could feel him all the way up inside me and I started to come. I kept
coming as he fucked my ass as deeply as he could until he finally came and
slowly withdrew." Dr. Stevens was quiet for a while, then asked, "Jan, why do
you think you liked it?" "I think it's because I'm always in control at work,"
Jan replied, "and I really don't have a very exciting life outside the office. I
know I was searching for something before I met Dan, and now I feel like I've
found it. The other thing is that it seems so 'dirty'. I was raised in a very
strict environment and all through college and my career, I've worked hard at
being very serious and straight. I remember thinking, as Dan's sperm was
dripping down my chin, 'If my sales people could only see their boss, now!' It
was really very exciting to think about but, of course, I could never let anyone
know I did anything like that (let alone, loved it). It's hard enough for a
woman to be taken seriously in the business world without having people think
you're some kind of nymphomaniac or pervert." "Do you think you're a
nymphomaniac or pervert?," Dr. Stevens asked. Jan thought for a while, then
replied, "I guess I don't know. In a way, what I let Dan do to, and with, me
seems perverted but when I'm with him, I just feel so free. That sounds funny,
doesn't it? That I would feel so free when I'm being his slave?" Dr. Stevens was
quiet for a few minutes, then said, softly, "Are you going to keep seeing him?"
Jan's response was immediate. "I don't think I could stop. And, I don't think I
want to. Do you think I should?" "I won't tell you what to do," the doctor
answered, "but I am a little concerned for your safety. Suppose Dan decides to
go too far and no one even knows you're with him?" Jan said, "I really don't
believe that will happen, but it's a good point. Would it be all right if I
leave a message on your answering machine when I'm going to see him, so at least
you'll know?" Dr. Stevens agreed, and told Jan she wanted her to think through
what she was doing and why, so they could both understand it more fully. Jan
said she would.
Part II Continued
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