Sometimes I wonder about the meaning of "Bi." I try to decide what I am. Am
I bi., gay or straight. When I step out of the shower and look in the mirror,
the image I see is female. My breast are female, my hips broaden, between
my legs are the lips and moisture of a female. And when I'm with a man
named Ned I have reached a sexual intensity that even as I write causes me
to shiver as though something frightening is sneaking up behind me. I have
even reached what could be called orgasmic greed when I found myself
demanding more from a perfect stranger whose only redeeming attributes
where the size of his cock and tongue. But then while that was going on
Mandy was massaging my face between her two huge breasts. What am I?
But it is Sue who causes me to wonder the most. My passion for her is
consuming. Lately, even as I work, I find myself daydreaming about her. Sue
tells me she has the same problem. I can't get enough of her body next to me,
her caresses, her mouth, the touch of her pussy on my lips, her taste in my
mouth. I dream of steamy summer nights, holding her against me, the
perspiration covering our bodies, her legs wrapped around me while she
presses her breast and pubic mound against me. Even as I write I feel my own
wetness escaping and beginning to moisten the area between my legs and
down to my asshole. I can't think straight.
And that is what is most frightening. When I am with her sometimes my
primal lust takes control of me and I couldn't stop our lovemaking (I find it
hard to realize I am speaking that way about another woman) if suddenly the
door burst open and a whole group of people poured in and saw me naked,
my arms and leg spread, my shaved pussy exposed to all. Even if they were
my mother, my brother, my father or the ancient aunt Lena I'm named for.
I couldn't move. It is like I'm standing with them, looking down on these
two women, shocked but unable to speak or move. I yearn for then to join
with Sue, to touch and caress me, to explore my body, to see me for the
carnal person I am. How is it these feeling are so powerful when I'm with
Sue?
Sue also seems overwhelmed with our relationship. I've given myself to her.
My body is hers. She can do anything she desires and I will do any thing she
request. Nothing will be held back. She responds by devouring me, exploring
me as though I represent her own soul. She will have me open myself to her
as she takes each of my pussy lips in her fingers and examines them for what
seems hours. She pulls the hood of my clit up to look and then with her
tongue stokes the sides to see what touch causes the rest of my pussy to move
as my body begins its response. She taste my cream, first with her tongue and
then with her mouth she sucks it from me until I feel my brain draining from
my vagina. At times she places my nipple in her mouth and just holds it there
while her tongue draws circles on it and my areola. At other times she falls
asleep on my chest gently sucking on me. An aura of ecstasy envelopes us.
I've found new eroticism with her. She will sometimes turn all the lights out
and place just one finger slightly in me, just far enough to feel my response,
and then asked me to think about her. My mind carries me to another world.
Many guys want us to scream, thrash and moan during sex. With Sue, I lay
perfectly still. My screams are in my mind. The only movements are primal.
My nipples rising. My pussy lips swelling and then twitching as the thoughts
flood into me. My cream leaking from me, first down to moisten my asshole
them on to the sheets. I'm sopping with my lust. The orgasm seems to last
forever. I sense only one, but Sue tells me that in reality there are many and
sometimes the whole experience goes on for as much as thirty or forty-five
minutes. I wouldn't know. When the fog lifts I feel drained, unable to move.
I can remember going in and coming out but I only carry the sensuous
feelings, not the mental details of what went on between.
Sue has also been shocked by her sexuality. She has found she can reach oral
orgasm as well as vaginal. Both of us are amazed by that discovery. We have
experimented with other sites on our body to bring ourselves to climax. The
area between her ass and pussy has created such orgasmic intensity in Sue that
afterwards she begged for my nipple. And as she sucked and kissed I found
my pussy responding with an orgasm that was both sexual and soothing.
So as I said, I am still trying to find out the meaning of bisexual and where
it fits into my life. What am I. What is anyone? Do others wonder sometimes
who lives within them and what or who it would take to bring that person
out?
Good night. Sleep tight.
Lena.
--
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